Sunday, February 7, 2010

Don't Worry, Be Happy by Being Blessed and Stupid

This from Mr. Nutrasweet, the smiling jackal of evangelical Christianity, Joel Osteen of the mega Lakewood Church in Houston:

"It's Your Time", read by Joel Osteen
#1 New York Times bestselling author Joel Osteen offers the inspirational truth that now is the time to activate your faith and accomplish your God-given dreams. You are closer than you think!

"It's Your Time to believe that God has solutions even before you have problems.

It's Your Time for favor, so understand that no matter where you stand in life, you never stand alone.

It's Your Time for restoration, so know that you will emerge from hard times with all you need to soar higher than ever before.

It's Your Time to trust and give your life over to God so that He can light the way for you.

It's Your Time to stretch and strengthen your faith.
Get your hopes up. Raise your expectations. Your best days are in front of you. In challenging times, it may be hard to see better days ahead. You may feel as though your struggles will never end. Yet, this is exactly the moment to put your faith into action and expect God's blessings. It's your time to declare your faith, to look for God's favor, and find fulfillment in His plans for you!"

Ah yes, God has plans for you. But could it involve your extinction along with that of the other 6.8 billion members of our chosen species? You know, the species that really isn't rooted in biology but is spirtual in nature? The one that can live outside of biophysical laws? The one with a God-given superior intelligence that makes it such brilliant stewards of God's creation? No, you don't have to worry about societal collapse ---- you can survive if only you believe in His Word. No matter how tough things get in the post carbon world, no matter how murderous the resource wars, the lawlessness, the rape and pillage and the starvation become, He will provide for you. Faith can give you $2 a gallon gasoline and $40 a barrel oil. Faith can restore extinct species and restock our fisheries. Faith can re-fill our aquifers and replenish our soils. Don't let a recession persuade you to give up your hopes. God wants to breath new life into your dreams. All you need to do is tune out those negative thoughts, the belief that you are never going to get out of debt or break your addiction to consumerism. With a new attitude, with a confidence in God's plan , you can make your business work or find another job. You can have that 3000 square foot home with a built-in vacuum , satellite TV and a swimming pool outside. Forget Heinberg and Catton and Clugston. Don't be a Prisoner of Fear but a Prisoner of Hope. Ignore the fact that the Chinese and the Indians will bid up the price of oil and compete for the scarce metals that underpin our industrial society. Faith will find will double our oil production or create a technology to replace it. Remember, God wants you to succeed. He wants you to "git out thar n' make a lot of money". So don't waste your energies trying to find collective solutions, because the goal is "Becoming a Better You" by following the Master's prescriptions. The Sierra Club translation for that is "feeling good about yourself". If you think happy thoughts, clean thoughts, green thoughts, you will be a "success". Yeah, I can see myself now. An old man struggling at the end of a plough in 2010 trying to till hard ground with muscle power and no fertilizer to feed the soil. A plough-horse, a plough-horse, my kingdom for a plough-horse! I may be emaciated, starving and wretched from the cold and the brutal tedium of subsistence living, but hey, I will be just bursting with self-esteem because Jesus loves me, even if he doesn't help me with the chores. If I am not saved by my religious convictions, I will thrive in the knowledge that I lived a pure, green, clean life. And that's what counts, my salvation. The world can go to hell, just as Revelations said it would.

Faith is a wonderful thing isn't? Hope without evidence. Science is such a downer.
Tim Murray

PS For a taste of Joel, sample an audio clip at's-Your-Time/Joel-Osteen/9780743596855 , but first take a gravol.

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