Tuesday, July 8, 2008


In what has been described as a “win-win” for both nations, Australia’s environmental icon Tim Flannery has been traded to Canada in exchange for national celebrity Dr. David Suzuki, nationalist Maude Barlow, cash and future considerations.

It was thought that the trade was motivated by the fact that Dr. Suzuki and Maude Barlow suffer from a rare medical condition called demographic lockjaw that apparently can only be relieved by foreign travel to Australia. Dr. Suzuki has never been able to say publicly that Canada is in overshoot, but while he is in Australia, a country in the same ecological boat, he has no problem finding his tongue and telling interviewers that the land is overpopulated.

Similarly, Maude Barlow had no difficulty telling an Australian radio audience on June 16/08 to stop growing its population, but has never been bold enough to tell a Canadian audience that we should do the same, even though we are growing 5.4% every 5 years, the fastest of G8 countries . We’ve paved 20% of our best farmland in a nation with just 7% of its land arable and considered marginal by European standards. Immigrant-driven population growth is a dagger that presses us at our throats more deeply every year and our leading Green voices remain silent.

More than a decade ago Tim Flannery said that Australia could sustain only 6-8 million people, but since then, he has been as quiet as a church mouse, while his country has been growing leaps and bounds. Perhaps his job comes with too many perks.

The General Managers for the two countries met and determined that both “players” and teams would benefit from a change in scenery. They obviously weren’t the right fit for each other. Suzuki and Barlow somehow find their courage Down Under. Maybe Flannery will recover his in the Frozen North and save us.

When Dr. Suzuki leaves we are going to give him a big tearful send off, and raise his jersey up to the rafters never ever to worn by another player again. You will recognize it. It will be the one with the maple leaf on it, with the word “ Suzuki” across the back, and the great big number “ZERO” on the front to commemorate his contribution to stopping Canada’s environmental degradation from population growth. Jersey size will be XXXXL to match his ego, pomposity and condescension. One wonders if Australia’s land surface will be large enough to accommodate his personality footprint.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008


In an attempt to duplicate the feat of Orson Wells some seven decades ago, CBC xenophiliac Mark Kelly conned millions of soft green listeners into believing that an invasion of illegal aliens was about to sweep into south eastern British Columbia.

Rendered in the style of a radio news story with bulletins of UFO landings in the West Kootenays, reports had Mexicans and Central Americans pouring down ramps of flying saucers threatening to force Canadians to adapt to their language, values and customs. Just what the left-wing audience wanted to hear. Kelly, the consummate pro, had the politically correct CBC groupies completely duped.

As a result, environmentalists like the local Sierra Club who had been working to reduce per capita consumption suddenly became gleeful at the notion of total consumption increasing to wipe out all those gains. With the environment getting worse, they would have something to do, a raison d’etre.

Labour leaders became excited at the prospect of poor illegal immigrants displacing the jobs of low income Canadian workers and depressing the wages of those who managed to retain their jobs in the wake of the invasion. They’ll just grow the union by organizing those illegal immigrants, right? That’s the motive, more dues, isn’t it?

Clergymen were exuberant at the chance of being depicted as saints for harbouring and feeding illegals in their churches while there were still Canadian homeless hungry on the streets.

The Green Party was over the moon about how culturally enriched the invasion would make our country, even though the environment would take a big hit from the bigger footprint from all those extra people. Oh, I forgot, “it is not how many people there are, it is how they live”. So everybody strip down to your loin clothes and live like Ghandi to accommodate the invasion.

Most of all, Mark Kelly’s colleagues were exhilarated at the idea of once again focusing on the plight of an illegal immigrant rather than on the widely dispersed suffering of those who have lost their jobs. Making a human interest story out of poor Felippe hiding out in Nelson, B.C. makes for better copy than covering the unemployment rate in the region.

When it was learned that Kelly’s program was a hoax, panic set in among the CBC audience. Now it seemed that their perverse love of foreigners at the expense of their own countrymen would have to find another outlet. For the time being they would just have to reflexively criticize those who put Canadians first and scream about xenophobia.

Tim Murray
July 1,.2008
Canada Day