Monday, May 5, 2008


A Professor Body Cohen of Simon Fraser University is holding a contest to see who is the "Greenest Citizen" in Canada and the world. The good Professor of course emphasizes only the goal of reducing our individual footprint and makes no mention of taking collective action to reduce the total NUMBER of footprints. Dr. David Suzuki is the icon of Canadian environmentalism and if not a population-denier, certainly a population-avoider. I nominated him for "Greenest Citizen in Canada" . This was mas my submission.



I am the Great Dr. David Suzuki and I AM the Greenest Citizen in Canada. Nominations closed. My words alone suffice to tell the story. A dozen books written from paper produced from old growth trees. Lectures given and films shot in places across the globe reached by jet aircraft whose carbon trails are still suspended in the stratosphere. The maintenance of two family homes five hours of car travel and 100 minutes of ferry time apart with all the attendant fuel consumption that commuting between them involved.

My pontifications are similar to your own. Conserve, Reduce, and Re-cycle. And oh yes, Re-produce by God, REPRODUCE!

The five children I sired from two different marriages are contributing over 100 metric tonnes annually of green house gasses to the atmosphere, and in their lifetimes will likely consume collectively over 18.5 million pounds of minerals, metals and fuels. ( .

I am sure that all of them will emulate the lifestyle of Ghandi by walking, riding bikes, wearing loin clothes and banging tambourines on street corners, and as long as they in turn honour me with 25 grandchildren, I'll be content. After all, the core of Green ideology is that it doesn't matter if there are another 25 Suzukis or 25 million Suzukis in Canada, so long each of them moves over and makes his or her footprint just that much smaller, the nation has infinite carrying capacity for everyone.

Numbers don't matter at all. Go forth and multiply. And invite the rest of the world here too. But live green. That's it, isn't it?

Yes, I am the Great Dr. David Suzuki, and I am the Greenest Citizen of them ALL

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